THE SHREK COUCH

I guess I can’t claim the idea behind this post, and have to give credit to my sister who has inspired me to look further into a furniture piece than the standard individual would. I don’t blame you if you feel somewhat “green with envy” after reading this either, this couch is one of a kind and being in a student diggs – has seen more than the average parent. And it’s only March!

To my younger sister, this is for you.

Like most students, our budgets are tighter than ‘skinny jeggings.’ (Skinny Jean Leggings- Like as if jeans couldn’t get tighter; well they just did!) Of course we pictured big bulging leather or suede couches that cost the price of our one month’s rental; but we had to snap into reality very fast when we realized we didn’t even have a stove/oven or a fridge – and did plan on eating in the very near future.

It must’ve been the hottest day in Cape Town when we came across our new couch-companion. We didn’t have much choice and probably wouldn’t have picked lime green with an option for colour- but which Cash Crusaders offers you the service of choice? ‘Its second hand, but it still works you snob!?’ I think that’s what every Cash Crusader staff had filtering through their minds when two Johannesburg girls walked into the Observatory branch for the very first time in little shorts and sunglasses on our heads.

We found him lying at the back of the store, his twin being sold a few hours before to two other girls. I think we were more curious about who these two other girls were at the time, like as if we know every single girl in Cape Town!? Or why would they want to buy a green couch? Who does that? – Than actually finding out about how much this avocado slash ‘booger’ coloured green piece was going for. We stood back and observed every detail, pulling our noses up at the image we got in our heads with it being the centre piece in our TV-room.

My roommate made it very clear that she had a couch cover at home; trying to convince me that despite the lack of colour scheme, she could cover it up. I think I was just hoping that the two girls that bought it’s twin version were not staff members in the store. They probably liked the colour/look and there we were ranting and raving like designers, couch experts (and couch potatoes?) of how we’ll disguise its appearance in our home. I don’t think this particular Cash Crusaders had ever dealt with two customers for so long either. They could’ve offered us a cup of tea, and two cups later we would’ve still been testing its spring bounce.

It was almost like we were debating over whether we should buy the new 2011 Ferrari Enzo off the show room floor. Except, it wasn’t. It was a second hand green couch, going for cheaper if paid in cash. Probably handed down 14 times, springs not very bouncy and a stain on the left hand side. We bought it. And it’s beautiful.

Two hours later a mini truck pulled up outside our Apartment block with what looked like a huge green fungus on the back. At least if our fridge wasn’t coming anytime soon, we knew it would suddenly blend in with the kitchens colour scheme of food-mould. Or our faces when we have to eat another marmite on toast dinner because we haven’t bought a stove/oven just yet.

Shrek, don’t ever believe any ‘asshole’ (literally) that sits on you and brings you down. You are always there for a hug, when our mothers can’t be. You a great bed for guests, and are mostly guaranteed only the best feedback as an intoxicated sleep is normally the finest. You are something we guaranteed to always want to come home to after a long day of work, unlike most of our spouses. You are our better psychologist, as we are both studying psychology. You don’t talk back. You’re a friend and a good story to tell our kids one day. But most of all, you’re our only proof that we actually have ‘gone green’, and do care about global warming & recycling.

Despite greener pastures ironically meaning something new, fresh or better when you did come from Cash Crusaders; you do however stand for growth. Not only because your back can be pushed back flat and can be made into a double sized sleeper couch, but because we’ve found ourselves lying on you on numerous occasions stuffing our faces and growing as individuals. In maturity of course?

And while this story might come across as ‘cute’ to you, Shrek still remains more knowledgeable about what is actually happening around us. So before you wish to be a fly on our/the wall, think twice.

Oh, and if you own a green couch, I do apologise.

...Only because your couch will never be quite like our Shrek couch!
(Even if you purchase 'the wanna be Shrek Couch.')